


Shouting

by Um_Lol



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, Chandler is sort of a bitch, Drug Use, Duke is babey, Duke's parents are bad, F/F, I want to give them all a hug, Sad Ending, Suicide, drug overdose, oh god I'm SO SORRY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:01:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24626680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Um_Lol/pseuds/Um_Lol
Summary: Shouting shouldn’t have triggered Duke so much. Yet it still did. And Heather Chandler doesn’t realise that.
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Heather Duke
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	Shouting

**Author's Note:**

> I AM SORRY. HOPE YOU ENJOY?
> 
> TW: all warnings are in the tags.

Shouting. Loud and aggressive shouting to be exact. Duke could barely hear what Chandler was saying anymore. She was stuck inside her head. Her thoughts. But it was mostly her parents’ fault. How they shouted at her for anything. Her looks, her friends, school. The list could go on. How did Duke even get here in the first place? Honestly, Duke had forgotten at that point.

She had been bottling up her emotions for a while. That’d what her parents had taught her. It’s weak to show signs of emotion. The biggest thing being crying. She had been called a crybaby. That there was no reason to cry, that words don’t hurt you. But they did. Her mother made comments about her body, making her feel worse than she already did about it. Bottling up her emotions wasn’t anything new to Duke.

But she’d had enough. She snapped.

She was done with dealing with Chandler’s bullshit. It was infuriating to her, and she’d just had enough of it. Years and years of Heather Chandler telling her to shut up, and making her angry in general. She snapped at her. And it was at the worst time possible.

Duke didn’t remember what she actually said, since she was really drunk. But it was a lot of her letting out her anger onto Chandler. And how did that turn out? She was going to be dead the next day. Heather Chandler was going to give her a piece of her mind, whether she liked it or not. Duke was fucked. She had fucked up badly. And there was no escaping it.

Chandler had not expected Duke to lash out at her. She seemed fine before. Sure, the things she said may have been somewhat true. It wasn’t that big of a deal. It wasn’t particularly nice, but when has she been nice to others? Who was she to think that she could talk back at her like that? Heather wasn’t going to admit that maybe, she was in the wrong. That maybe she should treat her better. She wasn’t going to say any of that. She especially wasn't going to admit...that.

Her stupid crush on Duke. It would’ve wrecked her reputation completely, so she ignored it. It was better this way. She wasn’t a bull dyke, she told herself. Then she started to tell her to shut up, she didn’t want to deal with her feelings properly.

So, here they were now. Having a shouting battle against eachother. Duke tried not to cry. It would’ve been stupid for her to cry right now. Stupid crybaby, she told herself. Now was not the time to cry. Chandler was being a bitch, like usual, and isn’t even apologising her. As much as she did something bad, at least she said sorry. Why can’t she just fucking admit she’s wrong for once?

“You’re going to ruin our reputation! Why did you have to do it front of everyone?” Chandler asked.

“Is that all you care about? If you care so much about our fucking reputation, then stop shutting me up and maybe I wouldn’t have blown up on you!”

“I barely even do that! You’re just overreacting! You didn’t tell me anything was wrong!”

“How do you expect me to be OK, when every sentence I say, you tell me to shut up?”

“The words don’t mean that much, get over it. I’m still your friend,” Chandler said.

Words don’t mean anything. _Then why did it hurt so much?_

“ ** _SHUT THE FUCK UP!_** I’m going upstairs!”

“Still following with the trend?” She rolled her eyes.

Duke didn’t even hear what she said, her mind was not being nice to her. That sentence had hurt more than Chandler knew it did. Her parents had told her that from a young age. Her mother said it the most. Telling her that Hunter didn’t mean it, he was only joking. To not let it get to her, it was only words. Yeah, because joking about her being a loser was just oh so funny, wasn’t it?

Heather Duke should’ve been used to getting shouted at by now. Her parents did it all the time. Yet it still hurts the same way each time. And with each time...the names they called her still haunt her.

_Crybaby_

_Stupid_

_Good for nothing_

_Dumb_

_Useless_

Why did shouting have to remind her of all the names her parents called her? She vomited. It wasn’t all that healthy for her, but helped her ignore her thoughts. Though it still didn’t shut up.

By now Chandler would’ve left, right? She didn’t care that much about Duke to stay. Did she even mean it when she said she was still her friend? There wasn’t any point for her to stay, was there? She was just annoying to her. With the scene she caused, maybe she deserves to be shut up.

She stared at herself in the mirror. She hadn’t done that in a long time. And God did she hate it. She couldn’t help but criticise her body. She couldn’t seem to shut her mind up, no matter how hard she tried. Her body just wasn’t something she was ever proud of.

She was sobbing now. There wasn’t an actual reason to cry, she thought. Yet she did it anyway. She wanted this to end. She would die anyway if her bulimia got worse, so what was the point? Better to die quick and painless than to slowly die from vomiting too much.

It wasn’t like anyone would miss her. She stared at the bottle of pills on the shelf. It was a slight struggle for her to reach for it, since she was so short. She wondered whether or not to write a suicide note, if anyone actually cared about her last words. She let out a sigh.

As if anyone thought of her as anything other than an annoyance. It would be pointless as well, since she doesn’t what to write in a suicide note. Is it all sappy stuff or what? She focussed back onto the pill bottle. She wiped her tears away, and tried to open it. She felt so tired at that point, she could barely even open the damn bottle.

Duke managed to open the bottle, and she took a few pills out. She gulped down the pills, without any water. She didn’t care anymore, she just wanted this to be over.

Duke didn’t get to hear the footsteps and shouting from the other side of the door. She had waited. But for too long.

What was taking her so long? Chandler gently opened the door.

_No. No, this isn’t happening. This wasn’t real. I’ll wake up any second from this nightmare. Any second now. Please, don’t let this be real._

_I’m sorry._

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I’m sorry for this.
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://um-l0l.tumblr.com)


End file.
